Ahhhh, relationships – The Four Fears of Intimacy- The First Fear: Abandonment
Hey, all you lads and lassies. As far as relationships go, want to be in one, want to get out of one or want to make yours better? There are ways to achieve all this and more!
The more is learning more about yourself in the process and that's a life-long mission that only brings more happiness in life. It's a win-win situation. You win in relationships and you win with you personally. Life doesn't get much better than that 
So what are your fears?
- You might fear the ocean or spiders or canned vegetables or any number of outward manifestations.
- But, below those are many fears we're not aware of that govern all our relationships.
If you know the four fears you can look at yourself and anyone else you know well and see which one(s) they are operating off of. It's like being a therapist without the credentials
Let's look at the first fear and see if we just think we or anyone else we know just might have that one....
First there's the fear of abandonment which so many of us have. The symptoms include:
- not being able to trust (oh, there's one for the books. Who in the heck ever feels that way? lol ),
- not feeling safe in relationships, believing you can't get your needs met
- craving and then pushing away affection.
All this time you're not realizing it's you who have this fear because it manifests so subtly that you can't figure out why your needs aren't getting met.
It's like being told as a child you are going to your most favorite amusment park and getting all excited about the trip only to be told that it just wasn't going to work out with no future date planned.
In the future you're not going to get as excited if it's promised again because you don't want to feel the hurt of last time so you learn not to trust. When this happens time after time you get left with this fear which lasts into adulthood.
That's what people do in relationships also so be aware, be very aware of how this plays out for you or even anyone you are in a relationship with or even conptemplating being in one with.
Save yourself from any misteps along the way so you can be happy and get your needs filled successfully! Sure, it's a lot of work, but well worth the effort:)
Next: The Fear of Being Smothered